As the title implies, this QB was bred and raised to be
a top NFL quarterback, no matter what the cost. His father was a QB, his
brothers are QB’s. His mission: to win a NFL title that his father never
achieved.
Peyton Manning is a robotic quarterback with no personality and no apparent
desire to have any fun. His words to the media are always the perfectly scripted
clichés. He plays the game with an uncanny mechanical style; that is, with no
style.
His off the field behavior is normal and boring. He does all of the approved,
scripted, do-gooder acts of donating to poor, helping the community, and all of
the other nice things that people with his kind of money are supposed to do. And
he gets plenty of coverage for it. He doesn’t do much else outside of football.
He’s too socially inept to realize that his commercials condescending the little
guys are patronizing and offensive to all of the working class. He’s
nauseatingly and unrealistically polite, except when accusing his kicker
Vanderjerk of getting “liquored up and running off his mouth,” an act he
strictly disapproves of.
Like the name implies, the Manchurian QB is the unwitting center of a conspiracy
to vault him into a Superbowl title, Hall of Fame career, and possible
Senatorial campaign. He does what he’s brainwashed to do: study football, play
football, and try his best to win games.
Some NFL officials are obviously part of the plot. How else can you explain the
overturned interception by Polamalu against the Colts? The horrific replay call
resulted in a robotic TD drive by Manning, including a 2 point conversion,
rather than the Steelers running out most of the clock. The game might have
ended up in OT if Vanderjackass had made his field goal.
The NFL continues to bend its will toward crowning Manning with a Superbowl and
remarkable career that he has been brainwashed for his entire life. What they
don’t realize is that you can’t manufacture a hero.
A hero is created by divine intervention: an unconventional renegade like Brett
Favre; an unbelievable gunslinger like Dan Marino; a gangly, fast freak like
Randy Moss; a devastatingly quick Barry Sanders or Mike Vick; a grocery store
clerk that walks on to the NFL an unknown, only to win a Superbowl and MVP
award.
A hero can not be created by an institution, a conspiracy, brainwashing, or any
other artificial means. Fans are people, humans. They need a human connection.
They want the man that’s flawed like they are, and yet has talent and drive,
above and beyond. A people’s hero is the guy they can relate to, the guy they
want to watch a football game, cook hamburgers, and drink a beer with.
The Manchurian Quarterback will never be the people’s hero.
Doug Cooke
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